A laugh a day

One day at school a teacher was trying to instruct children in the relationship between color and taste.  To do this, she demonstrated using Lifesavers, the "candy with the hole."  The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....................Cherry

Yellow...................Lemon

Green...................Lime

Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY flavored lifesavers.

None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, "I will give you all a clue.. It's what your

mother may sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and

yelled, "Oh my God! They're ass-holes!"

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Now that I have your attention....oh my God, that joke made me howl when it landed in my in-box yesterday.  And boy did I need a laugh.  Because you know?  This whole "let's pack up our lives, sell our house and move clear cross country" thing we've decided to do?  Yup - it hasn't been much fun so far!!!


The house is still for sale.

 

We're leaving in 9 days.

 

We thought we had a week to ten days to get from the Atlantic to damn near the Pacific, but some big muckety-muck at the corporate office has decided it's best if Buzz started sooner rather than later so, yes, the plans we spent last weekend making (about what route we'd take, where we'd stop, where we'd stay) - those plans got thrown out the window long about 8pm on Monday night.  So now Buzz and I are driving together as far as Ontario where he'll leave me in the comfort and care of my folks and he'll fly to his new hotel, work with the big brass from the home office on some very important, so important, it couldn't POSSIBLY wait until you drive with your family across country in 8 days stuff.  Then, about a week later he'll fly back, collect me and the dude and the midget and we'll resume our trans-continental journey once more.

Ahem.


Wasn't laughing much at that one.


Then there's the whole sell the house before we move pressure.   UGH.  I hardly even want to rehash here how  I feel about living in a house that's on the market and so therefore must be "show ready" at all times.  Note:  I don't like it much.  Not much laughter wiping down faucets every time they're used.    But, whatever.  It's what we've decided to do and so therefore we're doing.

Selling houses season is almost over on the sandbar and like sand through the hourglass of time so is our time on the island.  So to expedite matters we buried a statue of St. Joseph upside down in our garden in the hopes that he'd hear our prayer and find us someone to love our home and buy it.  We pray this prayer to him every day.  NOT kidding.  Don't laugh.


Anyway, seems like good ol' St. Joe was lending us an ear because right about the time we decided to test the waters to see if there was anyone interested in renting our house while it's on the market, a lovely couple who own a business in our neighborhood have decided to winter-over on the sandbar and were looking for a short-term rental.  Like in month to month.  Like in until our house sells.  They move in next Saturday.  And while I wasn't exactly laughing when we finalized the application last night, I was very much relieved to know that two fine people will be caring for our house and keeping Frieda company over the winter months.  Not laughing, but definitely smiling.  And relieved. 


Part of the process of getting ready to move is figuring out what goes and what stays...one of the things that cannot go with us is the Fred-mobile, Buzz's car.  But what to do, what to do?  No one wants to buy a 1994 Chrysler LHS because really?  It's an old man vehicle if ever there was one and not in the "coooool" old man kind of way, but in the big beastly, gas-guzzling kind of way.  So we've decided to retire Buzz's ride and finally figured out the many hoops we have to jump through in order to retire Fred.  We've jumped through all but the last one which involves dropping it off next week before we leave the sandbar.  Done.  Next.

Next up...well, there's lots of things next up and I don't think they're going to get done any faster if I just sit here writing on my little blog!  So, 9 days and counting.  Looking for the laughter.