During the course of this exercise over the years, I worked as a bellman - okay, bellperson in February...when it was minus-35 C on the thermometer - couldn't really tell if I was on her good side or bad side with this position - afterall, there wasn't much going on for a bellmen when we only had 20 rooms occupied, but, it was minus-35C so, yeah...good side or bad you be the judge. Also, you try running for valet cars when you have eight layers of clothing on and can barely bend over for fear of splitting your uniform because you have eight layers of clothing on!
On one particularly painful day in the life, we all had to work an overnight shift - you know - so that we could appreciate how hard it was on the colleagues that had to work overnight. I was definitely not sitting in favoured status at this point because I was assigned to work as a PA attendant (public areas attendant) which meant that I spent the hours between 11pm and 7am on a Sunday night no less, polishing the brass doorhandles in the clubhouse, vacuuming the Great Hall carpet and dusting the the baseboards in the Beauvert Promenade. It begged the question - what value is there in having your Director of Sales become a housekeeper? Two years later I still don't know.
But last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, wondering what the hell am I going to blog about today I thought, hey! I can write a blog about a day in my life NOW!
So here goes: Try not to fall asleep when reading this:
6:30am - 7:00am
- Up and at 'em. Strip the beds and load up the laundry basket. This is our big project for the day.
- Stumble downstairs, trip over the little dog who doesn't know if she should head to the back door to be let out like she is EVERY morning or if she should just dance under your feet until you almost fall down the last stair.
- Let the dogs out
- Fill up their breakfast bowls, let them back in to inspect whether or not they got filet mignon for breakfast. Sadly disappoint the dogs.
- Let the dogs out again because the little dog forgot to pee when she was just out 2 minutes ago
- Kiss the one whom I adore goodbye with a bag of garbage in my hand.
7:30am - 12:00pm
- Begin the Great Debate: Bran Flakes or peanut butter toast for breakfast? Decide on Bran Flakes because it was more in keeping with the No Crap for Kim Redux
- Sort laundry and begin the wash
- Empty the dishwasher
- Post blog - pitiful entry about poor pitiful me and my inability to bake because I am weaker than a string of spaghetti after an hour in a pot of hot water and I cannot refrain from eating whatever I make. Wa, wa, wa.
- Fluff & fold first load, load the colours
- Think about a shower but cannot get the big dog off my lap as it continues to pour outside, now accompanied by THUNDER!
- Pay mid-month bills. Wondered when we'll win the lottery?
- Watch Live! With Regis & Kelly. Marvel at the sight of her arms which are sculpted to perfection. Actually they look a little masculine to me...but, given that the only definition I have in my arms are the wiggly bits on the underside, I guess I'm not really one to judge.
- Finally extricate the dog off my lap and jump into the shower.
- Make lunch, a lovely toasted tomato sandwich on "calorie-wise" bread, a banana and a no-fat pudding cup (gotta get that dairy in some how)
- Fluff & fold load 2, start load 3
12:00pm - 1:00pm
- Watch "The View" and wonder why I tune in most days to listen to these ladies scream at each other about stuff I really don't care about anyway?
- One final review of the sales fliers and finalize the grocery list. This week's goal: one week's groceries for two people for less than $70.
- Make the beds with freshly laundered sheets...mmm...smells Downey fresh!
- Fluff & fold load 3, start load 4
- Head to town to begin the great grocery quest. Get stuck in the construction traffic on Rustico Road and wonder why they can't do this next month when I won't be on the island for two weeks.
1:00 - 4:30pm
- With list in hand make a stop at 3 - yes 3! - different grocery stores in order to maximize our grocery dollar.
- Realize that the sale on Palmolive liquid isn't really a sale at all so skip it altogether and head to SuperStore for the bulk of our grocery purchases
- Whip through the SuperStore only to be trapped in the check-out line for 20 minutes because evidently there are not enough cashiers for the volume of customers. Think to myself - hey! maybe I should apply to work here? Rethink it when I realize that when I self-check-out at Walmart it causes me such great anxiety that I always leave either my wallet, my car keys or my purchases at the check-out stand - so yeah, probably not the career for me.
- With mere minutes to spare, load up the car with groceries and make my way down Queen Street to my monthly massage appointment.
- Sit in traffic on Queen Street, behind a horse & buggy AND a double-decker bus watching people jaywalk, and wonder if it will take the 10 minutes I have left to get to my appointment to actually travel the TWO BLOCKS to my therapist?
- 8 minutes later, I get to my parking spot and go visit my massage therapist with my stress level now through the roof because I had to actually DRIVE. IN. TRAFFIC.
- Ahh...soothing massage. I leave the appointment decidedly greasier than when I came in, but who cares?
- Home to unpack groceries, dodging the big dog who is convinced each grocery bag will reveal a TREAT! Just for HIM! For the second time in the day I sadly disappoint the dog.
4:30 - 6:30pm
- Start dinner preparations - homemade cabbage salad, left-over fennel & orange salad and left-over roasted chicken. So yeah, dinner takes 10 minutes to make!
- Fluff & fold load 4, begin load 5 - who says the art of doing laundry can't be a zen-like, day-long activity?
- Watch the Young & The Restless. Yes, I admit I watch this crap. And let me tell you what level of crap it is...It's like watching a car wreck - you want to look away...but you are compelled to keep watching. I'm hooked. I have great shame about this. But not enough to stop watching it.
- Once again disappoint the dogs as I feed them not filet mignon for dinner, but instead dry dog food.
- Watch the first half-hour of island news on CBC. Big story: the weather.
- Welcome the one whom I adore home! Yeah, someone to talk to!
- Serve dinner, bowing after the rave reviews I receive for serving Leftovers!
6:30pm - 10:30pm
- Clean up after dinner.
- Check out the garden after the day's rain. Discover some new weeds. Pull those mo-fos out by their roots - they will NOT ruin my garden this year!
- Discover the ONLY pepper I had growing has now been partially eaten by some critter. Fuck. Devise a plan to foil the a) skunk, b) racoon, c) birds that are snacking on my peppers.
- Retire to the couch for an evening of TV with the one whom I adore. Up first: Triple Sensation followed by The Great American Road Trip and then a dose of the CBS Monday night comedies which I watch between naps.
10:30pm
- The one whom I adore convinces me I'd be more comfortable asleep in bed. So I head upstairs where I lie awake for 2 hours.
And now? Now that it's the next day? Now I'll start it all over again. Except without the laundry, grocery shopping or massage. Today's big job: cleaning bathrooms! So maybe being a public area attendant is paying off after all!
