I do. A lot.
What I wonder most about is why the fates conspired against my having any children.
I now know the answer to this question that has been burning in the back of my mind for almost 30 years.
It's because I would have SUCKED AT IT!
Oh sure, you've all seen me with kids and generally speaking, I'm very good with them. I can get right down to their level, play their games, colour in between the lines, make a mess and park myself in front of a Scooby Doo marathon 'til the cows come home... you bet. In fact, I'm "Auntie" Kim to so many children (some of whom are now adults) you'd think I come from a large Mormon family. Which I don't.
It's the other stuff of parenting that apparently I'm not so good at.
Things like medical care.
I guess it's a basic right to expect that if one is in charge of another being's health and welfare that you would, you know, have a clear understanding of what to expect.
My case in point?
Last month I took The Beast and The Barker to the vet for their annual physical...both came out with a bill of clean health, except that each has tartar build-up on their teeth and so needed to return for a cleaning. Gidget (The Barker) has one tooth that has severe decay, so her appointment was made first and so yesterday off we toddled to the AVC for the procedure.
Knowing that she'd be under anesthetic I held back any food from her, so by our 11am appointment I know she was a hungry puppy as she had not been eating regularly since we left on vacation two weeks ago. Side note, due to her picky-ness of what she would and would not eat while on vacation she dropped the 4 lbs she picked up last year - so now she's back to her fighting weight. I should be so lucky to drop all of my excess weight so easily!
Anyhoo....So, no food for Gidge and off we go to the AVC where, while chatting with some former Vancouverites in the AVC lobby Gidget snuck off to the corner and had a GINORMOUS crap right on the floor - this dog has no shame and me? Well, I apparently am full of shame for being the type of animal parent that lets their pet shit wherever they happen to hike it up. Side-side note: she probably lost 2 of the 4 pounds right there in the lobby of the AVC...her crap was almost as big as she is. Sadly, I am not making this up.
Finally the vet is ready to see us, and after scooping said poop and scrubbing the floor we joined the vet for our consult, where we learned that Gidget would not be having her teeth cleaned that day. No, day one of teeth cleaning involves her hanging out at the AVC and having blood work done, dining on vet-approved wet dog food and basically playing with all the other dogs. If the blood work comes back okay (which it did) , she'll have her dentistry done today. And if that all works out okay she can come home tomorrow.
For those that are counting that's 3 days and 2 nights later.
And I had no clue that it wouldn't be done as an out-patient in one day.
See why I wasn't allowed to raise children?
