Channeling my Inner-Julia Child

Have you seen the commercials?  I'm talking about the upcoming movie Julie & Julia - it's the story of two women set 50 years apart...one is Julia Child who is featured  during the years she and her husband lived in France and where she discovered the joys of French cooking.  The other is a gal from NYC who was in a dead-end job and decided that in a year she would cook every single recipe from Julia Child's book Mastering the Art of French Cooking (a cookbook Julia Child wrote in 1961!).  Aside from cooking over 500 (complicated) French recipes every day for a year this young cookie wrote a blog about her experience as she went along.  It's hysterical.  

I cannot wait for this movie.

For a couple of reasons:

1)  I've read Julie's blog and I think she's brilliant.  In fact, you might say I'm more than just a little tiny bit jealous of her.  Her idea was brilliant and while her writing at first is merely average, as you move through each entry about the trials and tribulations of finding beef marrow and then extracting it from the bone - well, her writing gets decidedly better as does the results of her cooking.  You can read it here:  http://www.JuliePowell@blogspot.com.  Click on the archive called the Julie/Julia Project and read back to front.  

2)  I'm in the process of reading Julia Child's biography of her time at the Cordon Bleu.  She really was a bit of a whack job, but I find in her a kindred spirit.  Like me, she married "later" in life.  She was like 35 and I was like 46, but you know, really, today's 46 is like yesterday's 35.  She and Paul had no kids.  Ditto that with the one whom I adore.   Also?  When her husband took a job in Paris she says she went with him as excess baggage and frankly somedays that's how I feel about our move to PEI.  In Paris she was at odds with what to do with herself.  On the island, I am more than odd...er, I mean, at odds with how to spend my time.  

I love both of these women.

I want to be like these women...talented, creative, get a book deal...

Now, I just need a really great idea, a publicist, an agent, the book rights and a movie deal.  

In the meantime, I'm off to the kitchen to channel my inner-Julia and create a decadent dessert for the one whom I adore.

Drugs in My Pocket

This morning I learned something new.  I learned that here, on the island in the Northumberland Strait, in the land of minimal healthcare and definitely NO preventative medicine I learned that refills on prescriptions expire if they are a year old.  Who knew?  I certainly didn't.  So in between asthmatic gasps on the one inhaler I currently own, I was able to sweet talk the pharmacist into giving me two of my last three refills on my inhaler just because he could hear I was on my last breath!

Have I talked about the stellar healthcare here on PEI?  Probably not, because it is a subject that so angers me that my typing becomes so fast and furious I nearly always break a nail when I do so much as even consider writing about it.  So I tend to avoid the subject altogether.  But I am here to tell you, this place?  The "gentle island"?  It's medical system is in a word:  FUCKED.  (sorry mom)

There really is just no other way to describe what goes on here.  Consider this:

When we first moved to the island and secured our healthcare cards I was told in order to get a family doctor  one had to register with Health PEI where a doctor would be assigned to you just as soon as one came available.  Naturally, my response was "and that will take about how long?"  to which the lovely lady at Health PEI said, "well, it could be a while."  I replied with "I've heard rumours that it could be a 3 year wait, that can't possibly be true, can it?" to which she said "uh, er, ah, well, yes, it could be that long."

You may well be wondering what does one do when one cannot secure a family doctor?  Well, we go to the walk-in clinic should there ever be something wrong with us.  But see, here?  For those of us unlucky enough to not have a family doctor there is no such thing as preventative medicine.  So that little spot in the middle of the one whom I adore's forehead?  Yeah, until it develops into something malignant, we can't get it checked out.  

About six months after moving here I called Health PEI again.  What does a woman do when she needs her birth control refilled?  Because of course no doctor worth their weight in cotton swabs would issue a prescription for birth control without first doing an internal exam and hey, guess what?  Yeah, the walk in clinic doesn't do those types of exams.  So yeah, what to do, what to do?  My lovely friend at Health PEI directed me to the women's clinic in nearby Parkdale where I could have both an exam and a prescription written.  Yeah, a glimmer of hope!

So I call said clinic and surprisingly get an appointment fairly easily.  The day comes and I go to the Doctor's office with a complete list of questions in my hand.  Can I get some blood work done?  I'm a little concerned about hormones.  And my asthma is decidedly worse than it has been in 25 years, so is there anything I can take to help with that?  Oh, and there's this tweek in my back I'm wondering about.

Her response?  "I'm sorry, I can't help you with any of that.  I only do vaginas."  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this doctor could only prescribe blood work if she found something questionable in my va-jay-jay.  Oh, and if I didn't hear back from her in like 3 months, then the results of my wellness exam were fine.  THREE MONTHS to get a pap result and THEN you'd hear back only if there's an issue?  What kind of healthcare is this I ask?

Recently, the one whom I adore had a familiar ringing in his head...the beginning of an inner-ear infection.  Uncharacteristically he high-tailed it right to the clinic to have it checked out and while he was there, he took it upon himself to ask some wellness questions himself.  Like, hey, it's been 15 years since he'd had a physical - how does one go about getting one on the island if one doesn't have a family doctor?  And what about blood work?  He was curious as to his cholesteral count what given that his wife insists on cooking with butter and not that chemically processed within one dna link to plastic that is margerine.  So, yeah, Doc, what about those things?  How does a guy get checked out?

Do not be surprised when I tell you the answer.  "PEI's healthcare system is not set up for preventative medicine."

So there you have it.  We better hope nothing happens to us before 2011 when we MIGHT get a family doctor.

In the meantime I'd best get the balance of my prescriptions filled before their time is up.

Melange, Hodge-Podge, Mish-Mash

Don't say you weren't warned by the title of this one that today's entry is a little, um, unfocused...but hopefully entertaining none-the-less!

As I do every morning, today I am perched on my sofa, with a tea beside me as I peruse my daily news on-line.  In the background I have The Today Show on the TV and the story they're currently covering is about a little chihuahua that was impaled with a BBQ fork in his brain.  The owner is soooo southern that I cannot understand a single word he is saying.   Now, I've been schooled in the language of the south, what with having spent way too many years living in Atlanta.  With enough vodka, wine or beer in me I can channel my inner-southern-belle, so yeah, generally speaking understanding people from south of the Mason-Dixon Line is usually not an issue for me.  But this guy?  This guy, in addition to being very southern, obviously has marbles in his mouth - or maybe it's a pinch of "chew" in his cheek - I'm not sure which.  But the long and short of it, the dog survived - had the fork removed from his brain - ugh, the visuals on this story were not what you'd want to be looking at over your morning muffin, is all I can say.  

As I sit here typing away the large dog is laying in a sunbeam at my feet.  The sun is out now...but at 6 o'clock this morning, not only was the sun not out, but it was storming again and that was enough to send this 50-lb wuss flying into our bed, shaking and quivering at the sound of yet another thunder storm.  Oh, and now that the storm's over and he's calmed down?  He stinks.  It's a residual left over from his stress attacks.  He gets so wound up with nerves that he gets the dog equivalent of B.O.  Not very pleasant at this hour of the day and it will likely take the balance of the day to dust the smell off him.  In the meantime, I'm going to spray a dose of my perfume on him!

Yesterday, I was stepping into the shower and as I am want to do I took a cursory glance out of the upstairs bathroom window where what to my wondering eyes did I see?  That's right a whole flock of Mo-Fo ravens sitting in a tree gorging themselves on our newly ripening cherries!   The day before I had taken great pains to string pie plates throughout the tree's branches in the hopes that the clanging sound of the tin plates blowing through the wind would discourage those fucking birds from eating our cherries.  I was wrong.   This is when, I believe, I first channeled my inner-crazy lady.  I whipped up the window and stuck my head out of it and with all the might I could muster I screamed "Get out of my tree you Mo-Fos!"  Except that I didn't use the (somewhat) polite abbreviation.  No, I used the full, nasty, potty-mouthed mother-f**king word.  My mother would not be proud.  My husband would not be surprised because I have been on a mission to rid our yard of both pigeons and ravens since we got to the island and I don't think I'll win the battle unless he lets me have a shotgun.  Which he won't.  I don't think we are ever going to enjoy a cherry from that tree - there are way more ravens in the OBB then I have pie-plates.  

Today, when I checked my email I had a message from a friend who often sends me little tidbits she finds on-line...interesting articles, websites, newsletters and such.  Today she forwarded a newsletter called "Goop" with an article that poses the question:  “What does it take to sustain a happy and successful relationship or marriage?”  As we approach our one-year anniversary next month, the timing of this little newsletter couldn't have been better.   I love that my friends, no matter how near or far, keep me in their thoughts and when something strikes them that Kim might like this and then they send it to me?  Well, it makes being stranded on this island just a little more bearable.  Thank you Bella!, my faithful reader and even better friend, for keeping me in your thoughts!

Yesterday I wrote about the joy of a butter tart...and more specifically the new recipe I discovered for Butter Tart Muffins.  They were so good that the one whom I adore took a couple to snack on with his afternoon coffee.  It always tickles me when I find something new that he loves...which clearly he did, because this is the email I got yesterday afternooon:

      

I’m having a butter tart muffin and it is ABSOLUTELY FREAKING FANTASTIC.  There is no way I’m stopping at just one.  As tempted as I am to show-off your baking there is no way I’m sharing. Here goes muffin #2.

He even asked for two more to take to work today - very sweet, but not as sweet as those damn muffins!

I haven't been off our property since Monday, so today?  Today I'm venturing to town...to (wait for it)...Walmart!  Yes, it's a big day here in the OBB.  I hope yours is nearly half as exciting as mine will be!

Ode to a Butter Tart

So, this whole "not baking" thing is "not going so well".

Ahem.

It was a quiet Wednesday on the island.  The laundry was done, the house was cleaned.  The books were read and the garden didn't need weeding.  Although, that being said I did spend a considerable amount of time stringing tin pie plates to stakes to keep the critters away from my pepper patch and my cherry tree.  So yeah, by 9:30 I was at loose ends as to how to spend the rest of the day.

Oh, sure, I did some research on the internet and I wrote a paragraph or two on a project I'm working on, but really?  Really?  By 10 my loose ends had unraveled like a skein of wool being bandied about by a newborn kitten.

My cousin recently opened a coffee shop in Ontario cottage country and every day she faithfully posts on Facebook what fabulous concoctions she's baked for that day.  One day it's cheddar cheese & bacon biscuits and the next day it's pina colada muffins.  One of her most regular menu items, however, is this little sweet treat known as the butter tart muffin.

Now, my Canadian readers know all about the joys of a butter tart which is as Canadian as hockey, beavers and Tim Horton's donuts.  But for those of you that read from south of the border let me just try to explain the joys of a butter tart.

First you must know that a butter tart is a pastry.  Fluffy and flakey it melts in your tongue, but the best part?  It isn't the light, fluffy pie-like crust....oh no, the  best part of a butter tart is the filling - all buttery and sugary and full of plump vanilla and butter soaked raisins.  Sometimes butter tarts have a medium bodied filling which can be both thick  and chewy.  But the best, very best butter tarts are runny butter tarts.  Those are tricky to eat - the filling is all gooey and runny and liquid-y and it leaks out of the tart with your first bite and then the challenge is to eat all that gooey goodness before it runs all over your face.  Yes, a butter tart is a thing to behold.

Every grandma I know north of the 49th parallel has their own recipe for butter tarts.  Each recipe has a slight variation - some with nuts, some without.  Some with raisins, some without.  Some runny, some not so much.    Pastry recipes are handed down generation to generation and butter tarts are the prized dessert on just about every Christmas buffet I have ever attended.  I've even been known to take more than my fair share and hide said booty in an undisclosed location just so I could enjoy eating another one when I had room in my belly!  I have no shame when it comes to butter tarts!

So you can imagine what runs through my mind when I see my cousin's daily menu featuring butter tart muffins.  A muffin that tastes like a butter tart?  How can that be so?  Curiosity killed the cat and I am here to tell you, it damn near killed Kim too.

So, yesterday in my sheer boredom I did a Google search for butter tart muffin recipes and lo and behold, I found several, but one recipe was listed on a Canadian Food site, so I decided to go with that one, being Canadian and all.  I mixed up the ingredients - butter, sugar, raisins, milk, vanilla, eggs, flour, walnuts, etc., etc., etc.  I scooped the batter into individual muffin tins and set them in the oven to convert into mouthwatering goodness.

They did not disappoint.  The fact that I only ate ONE yesterday is perhaps a sign that I am winning the willpower battle.  The one whom I adore enjoyed his so much last night that he asked me to pack him up a couple to enjoy at the office this morning with his morning coffee.  He never takes "to go" food to the office, so I'm thinking, yeah, these are pretty darned good.

If you find yourself in Huntsville this summer, stop by the newest coffee shop in town, Mugzy's and try one of these tasty little Canadian creations yourself!

Or, google the recipe.

A Day in the Life

Back when I worked for a big hotel company in the mountains our General Manager had this brilliant idea that those of us that worked in executive positions should spend a day every quarter working in colleague positions.  Something about "walking a mile in the colleague's shoes so that we can appreciate where they come from."  Whatever.  What it actually became was a method by which you could determine if you were on her good side or bad side that quarter.  If you were on her good side, you got a cosy position such as answering telephones at Royal Service which is what I did for my first day in the life.  But, our poor Director of F&B who was permanently affixed to her "bad side" well, he got to clean toilets with the housekeepers.  So, yeah, lots of fun for me...not so much for him.

During the course of this exercise over the years, I worked as a bellman - okay, bellperson in February...when it was minus-35 C on the thermometer - couldn't really tell if I was on her good side or bad side with this position - afterall, there wasn't much going on for a bellmen when we only had 20 rooms occupied, but, it was minus-35C so, yeah...good side or bad you be the judge.   Also, you try running for valet cars when you have eight layers of clothing on and can barely bend over for fear of splitting your uniform because you have eight layers of clothing on!  

On one particularly painful day in the life, we all had to work an overnight shift - you know - so that we could appreciate how hard it was on the colleagues that had to work overnight.  I was definitely not sitting in favoured status at this point because I was assigned to work as a PA attendant (public areas attendant) which meant that I spent the hours between 11pm and 7am on a Sunday night no less, polishing the brass doorhandles in the clubhouse, vacuuming the Great Hall carpet and dusting the the baseboards in the Beauvert Promenade.  It begged the question - what value is there in having your Director of Sales become a housekeeper?  Two years later I still don't know.

But last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, wondering what the hell am I going to blog about today I thought, hey!  I can write a blog about a day in my life NOW!

So here goes:  Try not to fall asleep when reading this:

6:30am - 7:00am

• Up and at 'em.  Strip the beds and load up the laundry basket.  This is our big project for the day.
  
• Stumble downstairs, trip over the little dog who doesn't know if she should head to the back door to be let out like she is EVERY morning or if she should just dance under your feet until you almost fall down the last stair.
• Let the dogs out
• Fill up their breakfast bowls, let them back in to inspect whether or not they got filet mignon for breakfast.   Sadly disappoint the dogs.
• Let the dogs out again because the little dog forgot to pee when she was just out 2 minutes ago
• Kiss the one whom I adore goodbye with a bag of garbage in my hand.

7:30am - 12:00pm

• Begin the Great Debate:  Bran Flakes or peanut butter toast for breakfast?  Decide on Bran Flakes because it was more in keeping with the No Crap for Kim Redux
• Sort laundry and begin the wash
• Empty the dishwasher 
• Post blog - pitiful entry about poor pitiful me and my inability to bake because I am weaker than a string of spaghetti after an hour in a pot of hot water and I cannot refrain from eating whatever I make.  Wa, wa, wa.  
• Fluff & fold first load, load the colours
• Think about a shower but cannot get the big dog off my lap as it continues to pour outside, now accompanied by THUNDER!
• Pay mid-month bills.  Wondered when we'll win the lottery?
• Watch Live! With Regis & Kelly.  Marvel at the sight of her arms which are sculpted to perfection.  Actually they look a little masculine to me...but, given that the only definition I have in my arms are the wiggly bits on the underside, I guess I'm not really one to judge.
• Finally extricate the dog off my lap and jump into the shower. 
• Make lunch, a lovely toasted tomato sandwich on "calorie-wise" bread, a banana and a no-fat pudding cup (gotta get that dairy in some how)
• Fluff & fold load 2, start load 3

12:00pm - 1:00pm

• Watch "The View" and wonder why I tune in most days to listen to these ladies scream at each other about stuff I really don't care about anyway?  
• One final review of the sales fliers and finalize the grocery list.  This week's goal:  one week's groceries for two people for less than $70.
• Make the beds with freshly laundered sheets...mmm...smells Downey fresh!
• Fluff & fold load 3, start load 4
• Head to town to begin the great grocery quest.  Get stuck in the construction traffic on Rustico Road and wonder why they can't do this next month when I won't be on the island for two weeks.

1:00 - 4:30pm

• With list in hand make a stop at 3 - yes 3! - different grocery stores in order to maximize our grocery dollar.
• Realize that the sale on Palmolive liquid isn't really a sale at all so skip it altogether and head to SuperStore for the bulk of our grocery purchases
• Whip through the SuperStore only to be trapped in the check-out line for 20 minutes because evidently there are not enough cashiers for the volume of customers.  Think to myself - hey!  maybe I should apply to work here?  Rethink it when I realize that when I self-check-out at Walmart it causes me such great anxiety that I always leave either my wallet, my car keys or my purchases at the check-out stand - so yeah, probably not the career for me.
• With mere minutes to spare, load up the car with groceries and make my way down Queen Street to my monthly massage appointment.
• Sit in traffic on Queen Street, behind a horse & buggy AND a double-decker bus watching people jaywalk, and wonder if it will take the 10 minutes I have left to get to my appointment to actually travel the TWO BLOCKS to my therapist?
• 8 minutes later, I get to my parking spot and go visit my massage therapist with my stress level now through the roof because I had to actually DRIVE.  IN.  TRAFFIC.
• Ahh...soothing massage.  I leave the appointment decidedly greasier than when I came in, but who cares?
• Home to unpack groceries, dodging the big dog who is convinced each grocery bag will reveal a TREAT!  Just for HIM!  For the second time in the day I sadly disappoint the dog.

4:30 - 6:30pm

• Start dinner preparations - homemade cabbage salad, left-over fennel & orange salad and left-over roasted chicken.  So yeah, dinner takes 10 minutes to make!
• Fluff & fold load 4, begin load 5 - who says the art of doing laundry can't be a zen-like, day-long activity?
• Watch the Young & The Restless.  Yes, I admit I watch this crap.  And let me tell you what level of crap it is...It's like watching a car wreck - you want to look away...but you are compelled to keep watching.    I'm hooked.  I have great shame about this.  But not enough to stop watching it.
• Once again disappoint the dogs as I feed them not filet mignon for dinner, but instead dry dog food.
• Watch the first half-hour of island news on CBC.  Big story:  the weather.
• Welcome the one whom I adore home!  Yeah, someone to talk to!  
• Serve dinner, bowing after the rave reviews I receive for serving Leftovers!

6:30pm - 10:30pm

• Clean up after dinner.
• Check out the garden after the day's rain.  Discover some new weeds.  Pull those mo-fos out by their roots - they will NOT ruin my garden this year!
• Discover the ONLY pepper I had growing has now been partially eaten by some critter.  Fuck.  Devise a plan to foil the a) skunk, b) racoon, c) birds that are snacking on my peppers.
• Retire to the couch for an evening of TV with the one whom I adore.  Up first:  Triple Sensation followed by The Great American Road Trip and then a dose of the CBS Monday night comedies which I  watch between naps.

10:30pm

• The one whom I adore convinces me I'd be more comfortable asleep in bed.  So I head upstairs where I lie awake for 2 hours.
  

And now?  Now that it's the next day?  Now I'll start it all over again.  Except without the laundry, grocery shopping or massage.  Today's big job:  cleaning bathrooms!  So maybe being a public area attendant is paying off after all!

 

No Crap for Kim - The Redux

I've been trying to get a posting up for the last 2 hours, but it's proven more than a little difficult when one has a 50-lb dog quivering on my lap.  Yes, it's Monday!  And yes!  It's raining!   Again!  This time with thunder!  

Reading yesterday's posting again this morning it strikes me that I'm more than a little pissed off at this whole No Crap for Kim thing because if I'm to have any measure of success I'm going to have to give up something I need almost as much a breath itself.   I'm not talking about giving up alcohol or a specific food or even an entire food group.   I'm talking about having to give up baking.  It is one of the few ways I fill up may days here on the island in the land of the under-employed.

There's only so much laundry to be done.  My house has NEVER been cleaner and let's just say my vegetable garden has nary a weed.  Nor do any of my flower beds.  So yes, finding ways to fill up my days often takes a creative bend and if I'm not writing here at this blog, I can generally be found in my kitchen playing with ingredients to concoct a new dish, or experimenting with a new recipe I've either found on-line, on tv or in my antique cookbook.
And now, as I struggle with the eternal battle of the bulge, I have to give this up too.  It seems so unfair.

Oh, I could keep on baking, sure.  I could make mountains of macaroons and countless cakes.  But the problem here is that while I can be very headstrong, I simply do not have the willpower to say no to sweet treats if they are in my vicinity.  The one whom I adore made a crack last week about how much he enjoyed the two macaroons he got out of that last batch - so yeah, there's an indicator of what happens when I bake.   And don't even suggest that I set up a little bakeshop and run it from my house - I don't like to bake in volumes...I just like to make a batch of this or a loaf of that every once in a while (and then I like to eat it).   That would hardly sustain a home-baking business.  But thanks for the suggestion.  

So, what's a gal to do?  Any other suggestions?  Hello?  People?  I'm talking to you!

Since I'm obviously not going to be making this anytime soon, I share with you my recipe for orange cake.  Someone might as well enjoy it, if I can't!

Orange Cake

375 ml (1 1/2 cups) unbleached all-purpose flour

5 ml (1 teaspoon) baking powder

250 ml (1 cup) softened unsalted butter

250 ml (1 cup) sugar

Grated zest of 3 oranges

3 x eggs

60 ml (1/4 cup) orange juice

For the Strawberry Coulis

500 ml (2 cups) fresh or frozen strawberries, thawed

60 ml (1/4 cup) sugar

For the Garnish

1 L (4 cups) fresh strawberries, hulled

60 ml (1/4 cup) sugar

Zest of 1 lemon 

DIRECTIONS:

For the Cake

With the rack in the middle position, preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F). Butter a 10 x 20-cm (4 x 8-inch) loaf pan. Line the pan with parchment paper, letting the paper hang over the long sides.In a bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Set aside.  In another bowl, cream the butter with the sugar and the orange zest using an electric mixer.  Add the eggs one at a time and beat until smooth. With the mixer on low speed, add the dry ingredients, alternating with the orange juice. Pour the batter into the loaf pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean, about 1 hour.Let cool partially. Unmould onto a cooling rack and let cool.  If the cake is for a picnic, wrap in a clean tea towel or place in an aluminum cake tin.

For the Strawberry Coulis

In a blender or food processor, purée the strawberries and sugar until smooth.

Refrigerate until chilled, about 2 hours. 

If sauce is needed for a picnic, transfer to a Mason jar.

For the Garnish

In a bowl, gently toss the strawberries with the sugar and zest. Refrigerate for 15 minutes.

Serve slices of cake with the sauce and macerated strawberries. 

NOTE:  I didn't actually do the coulis - instead I made a simple glaze with the zest of one orange, 1/2 cup plus 1 tbsp icing sugar, juice of one orange whisked together until thick and smooth.  YUM.

No Crap for Kim - The Crisis

Shit.  Seems like No Crap for Kim has gone into a gigantic skid.  It all started with that weekend away to Nova Scotia where to feel like I was contributing to the community table, I made a copious number of things to snack on.  Not that they were completely unhealthy - homemade hummus, fresh guacamole and black bean salsa.  Full of fibre and flavour  - and if you're going to snack, why not on beans and fresh vegetables, I say!  So yeah, nothing bad there!

No, the black beans, avocado and garbanzo beans weren't the problem.  The problem really began with the homemade cinnamon rolls I made for the Sunday Hangover Breakfast.  I had never made homemade cinnamon rolls before...but you know my theory - if you can read, you can do anything so I cracked my faithful Better Homes and Gardens cookbook from 1971 and looked up a recipe.  I had about 20 to choose from.  I chose the one that had the most ooey-gooey components and holy moses, were they ever good!  Light, buttery, cinnamon-y, and full of caramel and walnuts.  The Colonel had nothing on these buns because I am here to tell you they were finger lickin' good!

There were two left over, so of course I brought them home and once they were in my kitchen I couldn't bear to see them sitting, lonely, in their little tupperware container.  So every time I walked by, I lifted up the lid of that little container and took just a pinch.  A pinch here.  A pinch there.   Here a pinch, there a pinch and before I knew it, I had pinched both of them into oblivion.  Well, thank God, really, because honestly I didn't need THOSE hanging around the house.

But then, then I was cruising the Foodtv.ca website and right there on their home page was a glorious looking orange cake.  It looked so good and hey, I needed to figure out a dessert recipe for the dinner party last Thursday, so, one quick look at the recipe and another foraging mission in the pantry and lo and behold, I had all the ingredients, so of course I had to try the thing.  Holy shit was it ever good.  Moist and flavorful with little flecks of orange rind running through the cake, with a light orange glaze on top.  Being that a main ingredient was orange, it was almost enough to convince myself that this wasn't really a bad dessert after-all...well except for the half pound of butter in it.  Ahem.

In between the cinnamon rolls and the orange cake I made a batch of coconut macaroons.  When I die and go to heaven (hopefully) I dearly dream that those clouds will be stocked with unlimited coconut macaroons.  Before they were completely cooled I ate 3.   The rational side of my brain eventually returned and I put the remainder in the freezer to save for another time.  Do you know how good frozen macaroons are?  I'm here to tell you...even better than a frozen Snickers bar!

Our friends came to dinner on Thursday night and in honor of their visit I made homemade herb be provence bread, mussels, lobster, and for dessert that incredible orange cake.  The  macaroons only made it 'til Friday - I had to get them out of the house - their mere existence was too tempting.

Last night, we went to the drive-in movies.  One of the things we love about going to the drive-in is that we can bring our own treats and so we spent the latter part of the week discussing what exactly each of us would have for our special treat at the drive-in.  By this point, the treat has taken precedence over the damn movie.  The movie is merely the conduit by which we can indulge in junk food.  And that we did.  The one whom I adore ate salt & vinegar peanuts - if you can imagine anything so vile, while I noshed on Smart Corn.  Have you ever read the label of Smart Corn?  Despite its name it is considerably less than "Smart" for your waistline.  In fact, it has so many calories, I'm ashamed to admit, I ate most of the bag.  The resulting bellyache kept me up half the night and if I were to ever look back on this episode it should be enough that I won't ever eat Smart Corn again....but I'm not holding my breath.  I love the stuff despite how it makes me feel.

Which brings me now back to today.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  And the first day of No Crap for Kim - the Redux.    With all the baking eaten and the junk food now gone, I stand a fairly good chance of getting back on the wagon...if it isn't rolling down the hill at breakneck speed without me.

Black Bean Salsa

2 Cups black beans, rinsed & drained

2 tomatoes, seeded

1 red or yellow pepper, diced

1 red onion, finely diced

2 cups Cilantro, finely chopped

1 TBSP Olive Oil

2 TBSP Each Lemon Juice & Balsamic Vinegar

1 clove minced garlic (about 1 tsp)

Combine beans, tomatoes, peppers, red onion & cilantro.  In small bowl whisk together vinegar, lemon juice, oil & garlic.  Pour over bean mixture and toss to combine.  Refrigerate 1 hour prior to serving.

Guacamole

2 to 3 ripe avocados

1/3 cup finely diced red onion

1/3 cup diced & seeded fresh tomato

2 tbsp mild green chilis

Pinch of kosher salt

Juice & zest of one fresh lime

1/3 c fresh cilantro

Dash of hot sauce or tabasco sauce (Frank's Hot sauce preferred)

1 tbsp ground cumin

Cut avocados, remove pit and using a potato masher, mash into chunks.  Add tomato, chilis, diced onion.  Mix in lime juice, hot sauce, cumin & chopped cilantro.  Taste & adjust for flavour - add more cumin, hot sauce, lime juice as needed.

Hummus

1 Can chick peas, rinsed & drained, reserving the liquid in a separate dish

2 garlic cloves

7 tbsp Tahini paste

4 Tbsp lemon juice

4 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp ground cumin 

to taste - salt & pepper

In food processor combine chick peas, garlic, tahini, lemon juice and olive oil.  Add cumin, salt & pepper.  Depending on the thickness, add liquid from the chick peas and continue to blend until smooth.

Garnish with olive oil & paprika.