Resolute

I hate this time of year. Christmas is over...New Year's too and what do we (those of us living north of the 49th parallel) have to look forward to? Four more months of crap weather, little sunshine and if you have the extra special pleasure of living "down east" you have that never-ending-until-I-just-might-go-crazy-because-it's-so-freakin-bitter wind that just never seems to stop blowing.

But I digress. That is not why I hate this time of year.

I hate this time of year because of all those fools out there that suddenly decide NOW, right NOW, one or two days after imbibing copious amounts of alcohol and fat-laden foods for weeks, nay months on end, NOW, is the time to start going to the gym. I think they must be the same people that go to church only Easter and Christmas.

Anyway, who am I to judge who comes to the gym and who takes up space and who doesn't know the basic instructions for getting the eliptical to actually work? Who am I to judge the people that jump on a treadmill WITHOUT SIGNING IN FOR THE MACHINE and then proceed to overstay their allotted twenty-minutes? Who am I to judge the good folks that come to the gym and start (hear me now, I said start) their health regime by attempting to lift 40kgs using nothing but their hamstrings and then watch as they LOUDLY drop the weights because, hey, um, having no muscles and trying to lift 40kgs with only your hamstrings is maybe a bit ambitious? Who, just who am I to judge?

I'll tell you who I am. Just like those nice people that show up at church 52 weekends a year, I'm the person that goes to the gym all year long. I'm the person that knows you need to reserve a treadmill. I'm the person that knows there's a 20-minute limit for using the treadmill. I'm the person that knows how every single one of those freaking machines of torture works and most importantly, I'M THE PERSON WHO CAN'T GET ON ANY OF THOSE FREAKING MACHINES BECAUSE ALL THE NEWLY RESOLVED HEALTH-NUTS ARE MONOPOLIZING THEM!

So, you can see why I hate this time of year?

The good news is that just like the holiday season itself, the "I Resolve to Get Fit in 20___(fill in the blank)" season lasts only about 3 weeks. In a matter of twenty-one short days the "I'm going to be so healthy you won't recognize me because I am so committed to the cause" people will start dropping like cupcakes, until one day I'll show up at the gym and it will be my regular sanctuary of torture.

We've only got 16 more days to go.

I can hardly wait.