No Crap for Kim - The Crisis

Shit.  Seems like No Crap for Kim has gone into a gigantic skid.  It all started with that weekend away to Nova Scotia where to feel like I was contributing to the community table, I made a copious number of things to snack on.  Not that they were completely unhealthy - homemade hummus, fresh guacamole and black bean salsa.  Full of fibre and flavour  - and if you're going to snack, why not on beans and fresh vegetables, I say!  So yeah, nothing bad there!

No, the black beans, avocado and garbanzo beans weren't the problem.  The problem really began with the homemade cinnamon rolls I made for the Sunday Hangover Breakfast.  I had never made homemade cinnamon rolls before...but you know my theory - if you can read, you can do anything so I cracked my faithful Better Homes and Gardens cookbook from 1971 and looked up a recipe.  I had about 20 to choose from.  I chose the one that had the most ooey-gooey components and holy moses, were they ever good!  Light, buttery, cinnamon-y, and full of caramel and walnuts.  The Colonel had nothing on these buns because I am here to tell you they were finger lickin' good!

There were two left over, so of course I brought them home and once they were in my kitchen I couldn't bear to see them sitting, lonely, in their little tupperware container.  So every time I walked by, I lifted up the lid of that little container and took just a pinch.  A pinch here.  A pinch there.   Here a pinch, there a pinch and before I knew it, I had pinched both of them into oblivion.  Well, thank God, really, because honestly I didn't need THOSE hanging around the house.

But then, then I was cruising the Foodtv.ca website and right there on their home page was a glorious looking orange cake.  It looked so good and hey, I needed to figure out a dessert recipe for the dinner party last Thursday, so, one quick look at the recipe and another foraging mission in the pantry and lo and behold, I had all the ingredients, so of course I had to try the thing.  Holy shit was it ever good.  Moist and flavorful with little flecks of orange rind running through the cake, with a light orange glaze on top.  Being that a main ingredient was orange, it was almost enough to convince myself that this wasn't really a bad dessert after-all...well except for the half pound of butter in it.  Ahem.

In between the cinnamon rolls and the orange cake I made a batch of coconut macaroons.  When I die and go to heaven (hopefully) I dearly dream that those clouds will be stocked with unlimited coconut macaroons.  Before they were completely cooled I ate 3.   The rational side of my brain eventually returned and I put the remainder in the freezer to save for another time.  Do you know how good frozen macaroons are?  I'm here to tell you...even better than a frozen Snickers bar!

Our friends came to dinner on Thursday night and in honor of their visit I made homemade herb be provence bread, mussels, lobster, and for dessert that incredible orange cake.  The  macaroons only made it 'til Friday - I had to get them out of the house - their mere existence was too tempting.

Last night, we went to the drive-in movies.  One of the things we love about going to the drive-in is that we can bring our own treats and so we spent the latter part of the week discussing what exactly each of us would have for our special treat at the drive-in.  By this point, the treat has taken precedence over the damn movie.  The movie is merely the conduit by which we can indulge in junk food.  And that we did.  The one whom I adore ate salt & vinegar peanuts - if you can imagine anything so vile, while I noshed on Smart Corn.  Have you ever read the label of Smart Corn?  Despite its name it is considerably less than "Smart" for your waistline.  In fact, it has so many calories, I'm ashamed to admit, I ate most of the bag.  The resulting bellyache kept me up half the night and if I were to ever look back on this episode it should be enough that I won't ever eat Smart Corn again....but I'm not holding my breath.  I love the stuff despite how it makes me feel.

Which brings me now back to today.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  And the first day of No Crap for Kim - the Redux.    With all the baking eaten and the junk food now gone, I stand a fairly good chance of getting back on the wagon...if it isn't rolling down the hill at breakneck speed without me.

Black Bean Salsa

2 Cups black beans, rinsed & drained

2 tomatoes, seeded

1 red or yellow pepper, diced

1 red onion, finely diced

2 cups Cilantro, finely chopped

1 TBSP Olive Oil

2 TBSP Each Lemon Juice & Balsamic Vinegar

1 clove minced garlic (about 1 tsp)

Combine beans, tomatoes, peppers, red onion & cilantro.  In small bowl whisk together vinegar, lemon juice, oil & garlic.  Pour over bean mixture and toss to combine.  Refrigerate 1 hour prior to serving.

Guacamole

2 to 3 ripe avocados

1/3 cup finely diced red onion

1/3 cup diced & seeded fresh tomato

2 tbsp mild green chilis

Pinch of kosher salt

Juice & zest of one fresh lime

1/3 c fresh cilantro

Dash of hot sauce or tabasco sauce (Frank's Hot sauce preferred)

1 tbsp ground cumin

Cut avocados, remove pit and using a potato masher, mash into chunks.  Add tomato, chilis, diced onion.  Mix in lime juice, hot sauce, cumin & chopped cilantro.  Taste & adjust for flavour - add more cumin, hot sauce, lime juice as needed.

Hummus

1 Can chick peas, rinsed & drained, reserving the liquid in a separate dish

2 garlic cloves

7 tbsp Tahini paste

4 Tbsp lemon juice

4 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp ground cumin 

to taste - salt & pepper

In food processor combine chick peas, garlic, tahini, lemon juice and olive oil.  Add cumin, salt & pepper.  Depending on the thickness, add liquid from the chick peas and continue to blend until smooth.

Garnish with olive oil & paprika.