Drugs in My Pocket

This morning I learned something new.  I learned that here, on the island in the Northumberland Strait, in the land of minimal healthcare and definitely NO preventative medicine I learned that refills on prescriptions expire if they are a year old.  Who knew?  I certainly didn't.  So in between asthmatic gasps on the one inhaler I currently own, I was able to sweet talk the pharmacist into giving me two of my last three refills on my inhaler just because he could hear I was on my last breath!

Have I talked about the stellar healthcare here on PEI?  Probably not, because it is a subject that so angers me that my typing becomes so fast and furious I nearly always break a nail when I do so much as even consider writing about it.  So I tend to avoid the subject altogether.  But I am here to tell you, this place?  The "gentle island"?  It's medical system is in a word:  FUCKED.  (sorry mom)

There really is just no other way to describe what goes on here.  Consider this:

When we first moved to the island and secured our healthcare cards I was told in order to get a family doctor  one had to register with Health PEI where a doctor would be assigned to you just as soon as one came available.  Naturally, my response was "and that will take about how long?"  to which the lovely lady at Health PEI said, "well, it could be a while."  I replied with "I've heard rumours that it could be a 3 year wait, that can't possibly be true, can it?" to which she said "uh, er, ah, well, yes, it could be that long."

You may well be wondering what does one do when one cannot secure a family doctor?  Well, we go to the walk-in clinic should there ever be something wrong with us.  But see, here?  For those of us unlucky enough to not have a family doctor there is no such thing as preventative medicine.  So that little spot in the middle of the one whom I adore's forehead?  Yeah, until it develops into something malignant, we can't get it checked out.  

About six months after moving here I called Health PEI again.  What does a woman do when she needs her birth control refilled?  Because of course no doctor worth their weight in cotton swabs would issue a prescription for birth control without first doing an internal exam and hey, guess what?  Yeah, the walk in clinic doesn't do those types of exams.  So yeah, what to do, what to do?  My lovely friend at Health PEI directed me to the women's clinic in nearby Parkdale where I could have both an exam and a prescription written.  Yeah, a glimmer of hope!

So I call said clinic and surprisingly get an appointment fairly easily.  The day comes and I go to the Doctor's office with a complete list of questions in my hand.  Can I get some blood work done?  I'm a little concerned about hormones.  And my asthma is decidedly worse than it has been in 25 years, so is there anything I can take to help with that?  Oh, and there's this tweek in my back I'm wondering about.

Her response?  "I'm sorry, I can't help you with any of that.  I only do vaginas."  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this doctor could only prescribe blood work if she found something questionable in my va-jay-jay.  Oh, and if I didn't hear back from her in like 3 months, then the results of my wellness exam were fine.  THREE MONTHS to get a pap result and THEN you'd hear back only if there's an issue?  What kind of healthcare is this I ask?

Recently, the one whom I adore had a familiar ringing in his head...the beginning of an inner-ear infection.  Uncharacteristically he high-tailed it right to the clinic to have it checked out and while he was there, he took it upon himself to ask some wellness questions himself.  Like, hey, it's been 15 years since he'd had a physical - how does one go about getting one on the island if one doesn't have a family doctor?  And what about blood work?  He was curious as to his cholesteral count what given that his wife insists on cooking with butter and not that chemically processed within one dna link to plastic that is margerine.  So, yeah, Doc, what about those things?  How does a guy get checked out?

Do not be surprised when I tell you the answer.  "PEI's healthcare system is not set up for preventative medicine."

So there you have it.  We better hope nothing happens to us before 2011 when we MIGHT get a family doctor.

In the meantime I'd best get the balance of my prescriptions filled before their time is up.