Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Sound of Silence

We have friends here on the island that have a dog that doesn't bark.  Doesn't that sound lovely?  Well, the dog actually does bark, but when he does he makes this weird, laryngitis-sounding squeaks.  At best, he sounds hoarse, but mostly he just sounds ridiculous.  As a former show dog (and when he was owned by someone else), they had his vocal chords nipped.  Isn't that horrible?  I think it's horrible.  I would never do that to one of my dogs.  Nope.  No sirree.  It's just not right.

Or so I thought.

But then The Gidge, over the last couple of years, has developed this incredibly annoying, jump-out-of-your-skin, barking tirade habit and the more we had to endure it, the more we started wondering "just how much do you think that vocal chord surgery would cost?".

You see, she may only be 10-lbs of Silky Terrier, but in her mind, she's 1000-lbs of Grizzley Bear.  To say she's territorial would be an understatement.  She's got hair-trigger nerves, and, well, it's been a bloody bark-fest around these parts for way too long.

Some of the things that could set her off?

  • A ballcap resting on a doorknob
  • Inconsiderate placement of the tv remote control ("inconsiderate" is anywhere within her sight line)
  • Me, dancing in the kitchen
  • Snickers, whenever he moves too fast for her liking
  • Frieda
  • The wind whistling through the trees (dare I mention that here on the sandbar, it's always windy?)
  • Perhaps the worst of all though is anytime anyone knocks on, or rings our door.  That unleashes a tirade that only stops once she's hunted down the culprit and heaven forbid we lock her in the kitchen while we attend to the person at the door.  That will set the Gidge into a fury the likes of which you'll hopefully never know.

Oh, we consulted with our vet who in turn consulted with the animal behaviorist on staff at the Atlantic Veterinary College.  We thought it was anxiety and perhaps it is...but the behaviorist diagnosed it as adult-onset crankiness.

What?

"It's the breed" said she.

"The breed?"  said I.

"Yes.  This breed of dog is known to be exceptionally territorial and the older they get, the more this comes out in their personality and really, there's not much you can do about it, short of medication."

I just couldn't see myself shelling out $$ every month for valium for the dog when I don't have my own prescription, so we muddled on, hoping and praying that the Gidge would perhaps grow out of this phase.  I mean, she grew into it?  Maybe she'd grow out of it?

It just got worse.  The barking, while not exactly non-stop, sure felt that way.  You can see the attraction of the vocal chord surgery, now, can't you?

Well, before we went down that road, I went to my local pet store in search of some sort of training device that might help us with this problem and lo and behold...my local pet store guy had a couple of solutions.  One involved a very expensive sonar/vibrator/I don't know what else contraption, but that would only work if she were an outside dog.  And as thrilling as the prospect of putting Gidget outside for the rest of her life was, we remembered the birds of prey (not to mention the local coyotes & foxes) and decided, no, she's best suited for the indoors.   That took that device off the table.

Which left us with this:



It's a little battery-operated device that when activated by the sound of barking emits a little citronella infused spray of air, right into her face and guess what?  IT SHUTS HER UP!


Really, it's quite funny - she's surprised every time it happens and she looks at me with a "WTF just happened?" expression.  But it does the trick.  It breaks her fixation on whatever has her attention and she stops barking.  Silent Gidge.



I put it on her every night, about a half hour before Buzz comes home (because, yes, as soon as she hears his car in the driveway she starts with the announcements "he's home, he's home, he's HOME") and while she may bark once, she does not bark incessantly.  It is a thing of beauty.  Silent Gidge.

We've been using this little contraption every night since Friday.  Which means we've now had six nights of uninterrupted sleep.  Six nights of silence, courtesy of Silent Gidge.

You have no idea how this has improved the quality of our life.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Nookie Nookie

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter...I know what you're thinking!

So, hellooooo!   Is there anybody out there?  It's been so long since I've posted anything I'd be shocked if I still had readers!  It's no excuse, but I've been busy producing my very own version of  Extreme Makeover, the Kim & Dwayne Edition the past few weeks and, in between vacuuming up drywall dust, rolling miles and miles of paint onto thirsty walls, pushing furniture around, restoring old furniture and you know, traveling, putting the garden in, etc., etc., etc., well, it's been a busy summer so far.

So what led to this sudden desire to re-do the old farmhouse?  Well...On a dark and stormy night  way back last April, our roof blew off the house.  Okay, it didn't exactly fly off the house, but suffice it to say enough of the roof blew off that we ended up replacing the entire thing, tar-paper, shingles and all.  It just made sense given the interior damage caused by the rain that fell into our attic and onto our upstairs hallway ceiling.

There's no worse enemy to a house than water.  Take my word for it.  The havoc it can wreak - it's ugly.

The resulting repairs took 8 weeks, not because roofers are in such short supply here on the sandbar.  Nope.  Our roof was repaired within mere days of it blowing away.  No, it took 8 weeks because our handy-dandy, insurance company recommended drywall installer could not manage to schedule the repair to our upstairs ceiling for 6 weeks...despite my almost daily phone calls to remind him that the work was yet to be completed.  I know what my next career is going to be, if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out, is all I'm saying.

Anyway, we went away at the end of May with the hopes and dreams that when we came back the interior work would magically be done and we could move forward with the next phase of the project which involved painting the entire rest of the house.  You read that correctly.  The.  Entire.  Rest.  Of.  The.  House.  90% by myself...but with exceptional taping produced by Buzz - he's an artist with a roll of green painter's tape, believe me!

So while it's kept me from posting here on any kind of regular basis, I have to say...it was well worth it because now...now...I have a house that after living in for almost 3 years I finally LOVE!  It's a thing of beauty.  I know I'm biased...but really, take a look...





Isn't it purdy?


So when the upstair ceiling got replaced and painted the resulting paint job was "cut" into the hallway walls.  And you know how old farmhouses are built?  One hallway leads to another and before you know it, painting one hallway leads to the livingroom, leads to the nook, leads to the mudroom and so on.  


We selected a lovely, buttery, creamy shade of "rattan" and let me tell you, does it ever warm up our home.  


We moved furniture about from the nook to the kitchen and from the basement to the nook thereby adding about 200 sq ft of space to our living-room that until now has been un-usable...



Added some framed photographs of island scenes I've taken during our time here...




And shabby-chic'd out one antique buffet for the mud-room I found for a steal...







And suddenly, this old house feels like something fresh and new...and lovely!









    

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Back Scratch Fever...

Some days are like this on the sandbar...hours and hours of surveying one's domain...



With the occasional change in the action like when a leaf blows across the yard that needs immediate inspection.


But then the urge strikes...


When you have an itch...



You just need to scratch.


And there's nowhere better than deep in the turf...



Thankfully we have tons of turf here on the sandbar.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Places You Will Go...

...and the things you will do.  So said Dr. Seuss.  Well, I've been to a lot of places in my time on this planet and I've done a thing or two in my day.  Right now?  On the sandbar?  We're fixin' to re-do.

I'm not sure why I'm writin' with a twang, but after a long conversation with a friend of mine from down south, I do believe my inner-Belle is leaking out.

Anyhoo...

As I said, we've been fixin' up the farm the last couple of months, what with the roof blowing off in a colossal rain storm in April, it sort of needed a bit of an overhaul.  What started as one small little drip, drip, drip at 5-am one Tuesday morning has now resulted in a whole new roof plus a new ceiling for our second level hallway.

But here's the thing.  You start with a simple thing like fixing the water-damaged ceiling and the next thing you know you're painting the whole darned house.  Because of course when the ceiling guys fixed and painted our ceiling they cut the ceiling colour into the wall colour and hey, since we no longer have that particular shade of muddy paint lurking about in our basement anymore, well, there's no better excuse to paint the whole house than fixing a ceiling.

Right?

You see, in the design of the time our house was built (early last century) the upstairs hallway leads to the stairway walls, which (you guessed it) lead to our main floor level and you're right!  There is no logical break in any of those walls to cut off one shade of mud from another, so we're painting the whole shooting match, upstairs, stairway, living-room, nook, hallway & mud-room.  The whole shootin' match.

Currently our home is painted a lovely shade of capuccino.  I tend to think of it as a neutral shade of mud.  It's a bit dark for my taste so I'm planning to lighten up the farm with a lovely shade of parmesan...or pismo dunes...or butter cream.  We're still colour testing various shades of light, creamy, buttery, soft, warm, hues of yellows.  Buzz is afraid we'll end up with a ray of sunshine bleeding across the walls, but me?  I'm all for the yellow.  Bring it.  What better way to counter-act all the grey and dismal days we have here on the sandbar?

I'd show you to samples of what we're considering, but I couldn't get the colours to come our right...so, you may have to wait until the final product...which could take a while since my mother refuses to come to the sandbar to help with this project.  I don't know why suddenly, after Atlanta, Maui, Vancouver she's suddenly boycotting painting my homes, but there you go.

So, stay tuned...further updates on the re-do will be posted soon.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wild Impulse

We have this little shop here on the sandbar called Wild Impulse.  It sits in a nondescript strip plaza, right beside where I go to get coiffed.  I've never been inside Wild Impulse because, truth be told, I'm not really  their target audience.  Although the  old men I see coming in and out every time I get my haircut must be.

Wild Impulse sells sex toys and such.  "And such" being a whole bunch of paraphernalia that involves rubber and edible clothing and other things to spice up your sex life.  I think.

Anyway, yesterday as I pulled into the parking lot for my hair appointment at the salon next door,  I noticed the sign above Wild Impulse...

"Wild Impulse now accepts Canadian Tire money."

How's that for some cross promotion?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Shades of Grey

Do you know how many different shades of grey there are?  I don't either, but if the colour picker on my photo editing software is any indication, perhaps there are a million.   I believe this to be true because at least a half a million have set up shop on top of my head, framing my face in a less than flattering way.

So today, feeling all powerful and strong because I go to Bootcamp and kick ass now...I am embarking on a journey to kick some grey matter off the top of my lid and I'm thinking...Platinum.  Platinum Blonde.  Like Marilyn or Madonna in the early years.

Whatdaya think?

Oh, hell, it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks because by the time you read this, I'll be sitting in Emily's chair and she'll be massaging chemicals into my scalp to turn my grey/brown/bronze colour into something perfectly blonde and summery and different.

I'm thinking it'll go with the new ass, abs and pipes I've been working on the last few months.

Photo evidence soon!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Field Day

Do you remember Field Day at school?  The time of year to get out of the classroom and onto the athletic field - time to shake out the cobwebs - time to run around and get the blood flowing through your veins again after a long winter hibernation - time to prove your physical prowess by participating in such things as relay races, potato sack races, three-legged races, long jump, shot-put, etc.?

I hated Field Day.

That shouldn't come as a big surprise to anyone that really knows me.  After all, the term "athletic" was never an adjective used to describe me.  "Book nerd" was more like it.

But, every spring I'd find myself out there on the field.  Dreading whatever show of physical strength, dexterity or prowess was coming next.  I'd suffer from so much anxiety about running a short relay race that if I didn't have my inhaler at the ready, I could anxiety myself right into a full on asthma attack in about a half hour.

It was a great excuse to get out of Field Day.

But here's the thing.  All that getting out of Field Day set me up for an adulthood devoid of much physical activity.  Given a choice between going for a walk or curling up and reading a book, well, the book won every time.  Choose between a nice skate on a winter day or a mug of steaming hot chocolate?  Where's the whip cream?

So, it was with a TON of dread that I signed up for Fitness Bootcamp a couple of weeks ago.  I've been hitting the gym five days a week for the last 9 months and all I can say is, my fitness regime had become BO - RING.  I needed to shake it up and when a colleague suggested I join her at Fitness Bootcamp, I signed up in a snap.

Okay, that last part isn't true.  I bitched and moaned and whined about it.  The last time I'd done a Fitness Bootcamp I was living in Vancouver, I was about 40 lbs heavier than I am now and at the very first class I tore my achilles tendon and pissed away $300.  I wasn't really sure I wanted to repeat that.

But, here's the thing.  I decided I could continue to do what I've always done on the fitness front, and I could continue to tone muscles and drop weight at my steady 8-ounces per week rate, or I could ramp it up a notch and get over my high anxieties about group fitness classes and my poor old achilles tendon and I could sign up.

So I did.

I've endured two classes so far.  In a lot of ways it's just like Field Day was back in Junior High School. We're still competing with each other, but this time, it's not about reward & recognition, it's about feeling better.  We still run around a field.  Sometimes in the rain.  We still push the limits of our physical abilities.  We still do squats, lunges push-ups and those nasty things called burpees.

And guess what?

I LOVE it!

Believe me.  No one is more surprised than I am.

I don't know but I've been told...
This is how we don't get old...
March!  Two, three, four